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Posted June 6, 2012 by The Captain in All Series
 
 

ARC Review: Diary of a Vampire Stripper by Cinsearae S.


TLDR recap:

Audra needs money for college and she finds herself taking a job as a stripper to help makeends meet at the Hoochie Coochie Club. Of all the freaks and geeks in the place she manages to attract the attention of Darren, a real dickhead of a vampire, a creepy cop’s kid names Josh, and farting puppy dog of man named Paul. Who’s she going to ed up with? Are any of the choices good? And most importantly, will she be able to breathe with all that gas? GraveTells thinks Diary of a Vampire Stripper is Worth A Look!

  • Title: Diary of a Vampire Stripper
  • Series: n/a
  • Author: Cinsearae S.
  • Prominent Characters: Audra (aka Claudia), Darren, Josh, Paul
  • Genre(s): Paranormal Romance
  • Recommended reader age: 17+
  • Sexual content level: Medium

*** This review is SPOILER-FREE! Read on with confidence!***

Thoughts:

Sigh. I wish I could give this book a glowing review. It’s funny. Really, truly humorous, and not just because of fart jokes. But there were issues with editing that threw me out of the story constantly. I’m not into laundry lists, so let’s just say that I’d be going along pretty well and then get cracked in the face with a cold dead fish of an issue that had me putting the book down and walking away in frustration.

The author is funny, but sometimes I didn’t know if I was supposed to be laughing. I mean, if she’s being satirical, then okay. But I think she was at times being serious and I wasn’t supposed to laugh, but I did, before I got annoyed. With a good editor to help develop this book a little more, to even out characterization and plot arc, and take care of some punctuation and tense issues, this book would really, really shine. I’d happily shell out 7 bucks a book for the series. But as it is now, I can’t. I think the author is talented, fresh, and pulled me in with her fabulous sense of humor.

Memorable quotes:

Ewww….but so funny and wrong…

When she squatted and spread her legs, the dress raised itself up over her butt. Not only was she not wearing underwear, but she hadn’t shaved down there, either. She’d put Sasquatch to same with that matted muff. Hello, ever heard of a razor? Nair? Electrolysis? Something?! Naturally, the guys whooped and hollered again. How guys could love a crotch-tarantula was beyond my comprehension.

Audra’s internal monologue. Hey, she said it, not me…

Perhaps in the Devil’s very own ‘oval office’. I could just envision a book titled, Purgatory’s Bathroom Reader: For Those Turds That take Forever, Learn Some Pick-Up Lines Sure to Repel and Annoy! sitting on a fire-engine-red commode.

If you liked Diary of a Vampire Stripper…

Check out Claiming Her Geeks and The Geek Job by Eve Langlais. Both have strong female protagonists, funny quippy narrative, and loads and loads of sex.  You can check our the reviews for both by clicking their respective titles.

Final thoughts:

This book is quite funny, even with the purple prose sex scenes and need for a guiding hand with some editing issues. I think the author is someone to watch, she’s going to put out some really great, hilarious books in the future I’m sure.  I’m going to say that Diary of a Vampire Stripper is Worth A Look!

Rating: Diary of a Vampire Stripper

A Must-Read!


The Captain

 
When not in pursuit of two small children, a sausage shaped black lab, workaholic husband, crazed hermit crab, bachelor's degree, Jensen Ackles, or editors, I spend time writing and reading PNR/UF as fast as my overtaxed eyes and fingers can read and type. I'm busily writing a series with plenty of Smex Beam deployment and the occasional short story. I am susceptible to bribes involving chocolate, peanut butter, and interesting combinations of the two.